Loose the chains of injustice

As I just wrote, it's past time for me to speak up (if you haven't read it, go do so)

This week I've read about to many injustices ...

bombings/terroristics attacks in Istanbul and Baghdad and Medina
the abductions then deaths of an IJM lawyer, driver and client in Kenya
additional victims of police violence
and now THIS in Dallas!

These things come on the heels of other events like the Orlando Massacre and Stanford swimmer's lenient sentencing for sexually assaulting an unconscious woman.


I'm outraged by these events. I'm tired of hearing about them happening. There seems to be so little progress and so much lament.
Jeremiah 6:14 and 16 run through my head:

They dress the wound of my people
   as though it were not serious.
'Peace, peace,' they say,
   when there is no peace.

This is what the Lord says:
 "Stand at the crossroads and look;
    ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
   and you will find rest for your souls.
   But you said, 'We will not walk in it.'

Along with Psalm 13 and Habakkuk 1.


This time around Isaiah 58 is also running through my mind.


A couple weeks ago in youth group we were using this passage to talk about discovering sabbath delight.  At one point we ask the teens if they could see possible connections between the practice of justice in daily life and delight on the sabbath day. After giving them some time to consider, discuss it between themselves, and share their answers, I shared.
I shared that I unfortunately don't see much justice in my daily life ... I see too much injustice. So instead of delighting, I find myself lamenting.
I want to see more connections between justice and delight on the sabbath day.
It means we need to act.
We need to humble ourselves (58:4), loose the bonds of wickedness, undone the straps of the yoke, let the oppressed go free, break every yoke (58:6), feed the hungry, house the homeless, cover the naked (58:7)
We cannot sit idly by when these things happen.
If we fight for the oppressed, we will begin to see healing! (58:8)

Yes, keep praying for peace and justice, keep lamenting the violence and injustice, but don't stop there.  Recognize your privilege, have uncomfortable conversations, take steps to lose the chains of injustice in your area ...
   In Mechanicsburg, West Shore E-Free Church has an after-school ministry to kids living in Cumberland Pointe. There are other opportunities to work for justice in the area - places like Bethesda Mission, Central PA Literacy Council, or Paxton Ministries.
    In Grand Rapids there are countless awesome non-profits/churches involved in justice work - Baxter Community Center, New City Neighbors, Cook Library, Degage ... I could go on.

It doesn't matter, just SPEAK UP and GET INVOLVED

What are you willing to sacrifice to create a more just society?

My silence is a luxury

Whenever I see things like this, my heart breaks.
It aches for peace.
For justice.

Heavy-hearted, I want to comment or do something but it's hard.  I struggle with what to say.
I don't currently live in the states, I am a privileged white woman.

We're luck we're white.
Lucky to be the majority. We're lucky we're seen as "normal"
We're lucky we don't get stared at every single time we walk into a room.
Lucky that people see us, not a color.
We're lucky we don't get followed by security when we go to the store. 
We're lucky car doors don't get locked when we walk by
We're lucky that it's easier to get a job, a bank loan, and approval in general.
Lucky we don't have our purse searched when we leave the mall,
or have our car searched because we're in the wrong neighborhood

What could I possibly have to say that adds to the conversation?
So while I'll think of Martin Niemöller ...

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

and Elie Wiesel (and especially this week since he just passed away)

Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant

... I only listen.

I'll spend then next few days reading countless articles and opinions, and maybe share a more eloquent friend's facebook status (especially if it's from a S-LC co-worker/alumni).
I'll listen to many of these songs along with Kendrick Lamar's "To Pimp a Butterfly, The Brilliance's
"Brother" and self-titled albums (especially their songs Does Your Heart Break and Mercy), and Macklemore's White Privilege II on repeat.
I listen to the first set of songs to understand, the second to cry out to God.
I listen to "White Privilege II" because I believe it articulates how I feel so well:

I want to take a stance cause we are not free
And then I thought about it, we are not we
Am I in the outside looking in, or am I in the inside looking out?
Is it my place to give my two cents ...

You speak about equality, but do you really mean it?
Are you marching for freedom, or when it's convenient?
Want people to like you, want to be accepted
That's probably why you are out here protesting
Don't think for a second you don't have incentive
Is this about you, well, then what's your intention?
What's the intention? What's the intention? 

... Damn, a lot of opinions, a lot of confusion, a lot of resentment
Some of us scared, some of us defensive
And most of us aren't even paying attention
It seems like we're more concerned with being called racist
Than we actually are with racism
I've heard that silences are action and God knows that I've been passive
What if I actually read a article, actually had a dialogue
Actually looked at myself, actually got involved?
If I'm aware of my privilege and do nothing at all, I don't know...

White supremacy isn't just a white dude in Idaho
White supremacy protects the privilege I hold
White supremacy is the soil, the foundation, the cement and the flag that flies outside of my home
White supremacy is our country's lineage, designed for us to be indifferent ...

We want to dress like, walk like, talk like, dance like, yet we just stand by
We take all we want from black culture, but will we show up for black lives?

... liberation for everyone, and injustice anywhere is still injustice everywhere.
The best thing white people can do is talk to each other.
And having those very difficult, very painful conversations with your parents, with your family members.
I think one of the critical questions for white people in this society is what are you willing to risk,
What are you willing to sacrifice to create a more just society?

The title of this blog is purposeful discomfort. These things should make us uncomfortable, but what do you do with the discomfort? Do you shrug it off, or engage in discussion with others? Do you 'like' someone's eloquent status, or write your own? Do you join in a lament and/or pray for peace and a more just society?

I'm ready to speak up - my silence is a luxury.

What are you willing to sacrifice to create a more just society?

Just in time

As you (hopefully) know, World Outreach Ministries (WOM) is my sending agency. They are a registered 501c3 in the states, which allows people like you to make tax deductible donations to my ministry here in Thailand.  I am then "contracted" by WOM to work with my receiving agency, the Family Connection Foundation (FCF).

Because I am considered as a contractor my taxes are filed differently than a typical employee (I get a
1099 instead of a W-2).  One of the biggest differences is that social security payments aren't automatically withdrawn from each of my 'paychecks.' As a result, when I (well, actually my dad - thank you dad!) go to file my taxes, I have to pay a year's worth of social security based on my income for the year.  This year, I ended up having to pay $1,397 worth of social security taxes.  To help put into perspective how much money that is for me to pay ... it's equivalent to 10 months worth of my rent!

When my dad told me how much I'd have to pay in mid-March, I knew I'd have the money, for it, but asked that my parents wouldn't have it withdrawn from my bank account until April 11.  Yes, I had the money, but I knew I'd need my "first of the month" deposit from WOM as a buffer.

As I was traveling April 2-10 (for the Hat Yai Discipleship trip), I didn't get a chance to see what the deposit total was going to be until April 11.  When I went to check, I was shocked to see an extra gift had been made at the end of March. This extra gift was just what I needed to get me through April without dipping into my savings (which I was expecting to do) and supported me while the usual monthly donations came in to replenish my checking account.

Since I haven't had many extra donations this year and I had to pay a hefty amount for new glasses, I've been living pretty simply - doing without many of the 'extras' I usually enjoy. To have God provide in such a way - just enough to be covered, to have that exact amount come in at that exact time, there's no way it could be anything but God's provision, confirmation of his presence, approval for what I'm doing in Thailand.

Moving Mountains - Answered Prayers

While on the discipleship trip, we used John Eldredge's new book, "Moving Mountains" to learn about prayer during our devotional times.  One of the days we talked about daily prayer and challenged the students to either use Eldredge's daily prayer, or to adopt one of their own to pray daily.

I personally decided to use Eldredge's daily prayer, which you can read for yourself here. (I'd also suggest that you start this practice if you don't already and that you read his book as it has changed the way I think about prayer).

The Sunday after we returned, I was gong through the prayer and the line, "In all that I now pray, I stand in total agreement with your Spirit and with all those praying for me by the Spirit of God alone" stood out to me. I'm not really sure why, but that phrase "with all those praying for me" really struck something in me that morning. 

I paused, thinking over what I know people have prayed for/over me. I think the most common thing I hear that people are praying for me is that I stay safe on the roads while I'm on my motorbike. In thinking this I said to myself/God (almost flippantly), "yeah, I agree with those prayers. I'd like protection while riding around town. Protect me today God, as I go out on my motorcycle." I went through the rest of the prayer, got ready for the day, and headed off to church (on my motorcycle) without really thinking anything of it.

After church I headed up towards Meechok Plaza on the Mae Jo road to meet some friends for lunch. At one of the U-turns in the middle of that road, I saw (from a distance) a car starting to pull out (and just as a reminder, we drive on the opposite side of the road here). As I came closer, the car started pulling out further. As the Mae Jo road is plenty wide I thought they might swing into the far left lane that I was in, but would get into middle lane before I reached them. Still, I started to slow down a bit. But this car didn't pull into the middle lane. In fact, it started to cut me off in the far left lane. I slammed on the breaks and saw there was a petrol station on my left. I figured that's where this car was headed and that they hadn't seen me, but I wasn't fast enough to honk my horn. Instead I sped up to pull into the petrol station and pass around the car. I made it safely, but couldn't believe how close I came to being run off the road.

Once I reached the restaurant and settled my racing heart I was overwhelmed by this sense of God's hand and protection in this situation. I was then overwhelmed that I had prayed for protection on my motorbike today because I prayed in agreement with what I know others pray for for me.

Hat Yai Discipleship Trip

Our group with the students we worked with during a 4 day English camp

Like last year, I had the privileged of spending a week in a Muslim village in southern Thailand (outside the city of Hat Yai) with a group of teens from our youth group April 2-10.  With the youth pastor being on furlough, I had more responsibilities as one of the leaders and not just a chaperone, which made it quite a different experience for me.  I was incredibly proud of the way the students handled themselves in the village and stepped up in the English classes they were teaching.

One of the highlights for me this year, took place during our debriefing time at the end of the trip.  We spent 2 nights and one full day at a beach hotel.  After the debrief session our first night, one of the guys asked to borrow my beach mat so they could go out to play worship music on the beach.  I joined them, not knowing that it would end up being only the male students out there.

As the one guy played guitar, most joined in singing different praise songs he played.  Others milled around or chatted quietly or prayed with each other.  At one point, two guys were standing by the water's edge with their arms around each others' back.  Slowly the other guys began to join them until they were all standing in a line looking out over the ocean.  They sang together then circled up - obviously praying together.  Of course they ended their circle time with a primal warrior cry before coming back to where the other leader and I were sitting.

They picked up where they left off - continuing with their worship, prayers, and encouraging conversations. At this point the other leader (Dave) got up from where we were sitting and walked to the water's edge.  It just so happened that he was leaving Thailand for a number of months a few days after we returned from this trip.  Our guys love and respect him so much.  It didn't take long for one of the guys to suggest that they go pray for him, and he was swarmed.  After praying for him, people slowly started heading back to their rooms for the night.

In seeing the guys in this special context, I felt as though I am more fully able to understand their relationship with each other and with Dave. Apparently, the guys thought it was cool that joined them.  I was relieved to hear this, as I did feel like I was intruding on their time and space to some extent, even though I feel so blessed that the guys allowed me to intrude and witness them in this almost intimate context.

With Mike and now Dave gone, I feel a huge amount of responsibility not just for the youth group, but also for these guys in closing out the year well (as many of them are graduating this year). I was thankful for this experience to help open up another way for me to connect with these guys.

The Myanmar Earthquake

124 friends in this area
66 friends marked as safe

I woke up at 3am.  In checking the time, I saw I had notifications from facebook ... "Earthquake in Myanmar, let your friends know you're ok by marking yourself safe." "So-and-so has marked themselves as safe during the Myanmar Earthquake."

What's going on? Was this felt in Thailand? Friends started marking themselves safe 3 hours ago ... I was asleep. I wonder what's going on, might as well check since I'm awake.

BBC News, "Myanmar shaken by a 6.9 magnitude earthquake" ... no initial reports of fatalities ... tremors felt in India (no worries, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, while in the area, are safe) and Bangladesh. Hmm, sounds like it's closer to the western border than eastern - did it even reach Thailand? I wonder if/how it affected the region Free Burma Rangers works in ... finally! a map - doesn't look like tremors reached Thailand (according to this map) ... reading further: Chinese officials report tremors felt in Tibet and China, but no reports of it reaching Thailand.

No reports of it reaching Thailand and yet Facebook wanted me to let my friends know if I was safe or not.  I'm cranky from waking up at 3am.  I don't want to, but I check myself in as safe.

I find it silly to check in. It doesn't look like it's reached Thailand (and in looking the next day the epicenter was 900+ km north/north west of Chiang Mai).  Friends in Thailand will assume I'm safe since they probably didn't feel anything either.  Friends in America might wonder what I'm doing in Myanmar, or they might not care, or they won't know that it even happened ... they won't know that it happened.  

They should know it happened - Myanmar has had enough problems overlooked by western media the past few years, but maybe I can help raise awareness since I'm in the larger region.
"Many of Myanmar's outlying areas have inadequate communications and infrastructure, including the area where the earthquake hit." Do you realize the implications of this statement?


 "You've marked yourself as safe"

Reflection on Godspell

I recently did some choreography for Grace International School’s production of Godspell.  It runs this week and I couldn’t be more proud of the students or excited for the community to see this show.

There’s this scene at the end of Godspell: Judas has left to betray Jesus, the disciples and Jesus have finished having their Passover meal.  Judas then sings this beautiful lament while each disciple has a moment with Jesus to say goodbye.

This may very well be my favorite scene in the show (even though my choreography is pretty boss and the students are killing it!).  It’s the calm before the storm.  I believe I find it so moving because of the fun, personal nature of the show.  Jesus has brought each of these people to himself – they’ve grown together, they’ve had fun, they’ve fought, they’ve learned, they’ve journeyed together to this point.  While the disciples don’t know or fully understand what is about to happen, they have a chance to say goodbye.  In their moment each disciple does their unique thing with Jesus … a bit of choreo from their song, a sign only they did with Jesus … whatever it is, it’s theirs.

In reading the gospels, I think it’s easy to forget how approachable Jesus is.  I know that when I read the gospels he seems distant and not necessarily very personal.  His teachings maybe seem lofty, his standards maybe unattainable.  It’s easy then to become like the Pharisees Jesus was constantly chastising – to get wrapped up in doing the right things, without the right attitude. Without seeking God in everything.

This is part of why I have enjoyed going to Godspell practices.  Parables and teachings are acted out in fun, different ways.  Hearing it day after day, practice after practice after practice … just soaking in the words of Jesus. It becomes easier to see yourself as one of the disciples. You have fun alongside the disciples and Jesus; you feel Jesus’ frustration. You, like the disciples, don’t want to say goodbye.  The weight of what Jesus has done falls fresh again.

I personally couldn’t think of a better way to prepare for Easter then helping out with this musical. It's been such a blessing.

PS – Thanks mom and dad for paying for dance classes for all those years, it definitely paid off to put those skills to work for this production.  Also thanks to all who made MASH musicals possible when I was in high school, especially Mr. Dundore, Shoe, and Miss Catherine – not sure I would have helped out with this production if you hadn’t been such an inspiration/encouragement.