My silence is a luxury

Whenever I see things like this, my heart breaks.
It aches for peace.
For justice.

Heavy-hearted, I want to comment or do something but it's hard.  I struggle with what to say.
I don't currently live in the states, I am a privileged white woman.

We're luck we're white.
Lucky to be the majority. We're lucky we're seen as "normal"
We're lucky we don't get stared at every single time we walk into a room.
Lucky that people see us, not a color.
We're lucky we don't get followed by security when we go to the store. 
We're lucky car doors don't get locked when we walk by
We're lucky that it's easier to get a job, a bank loan, and approval in general.
Lucky we don't have our purse searched when we leave the mall,
or have our car searched because we're in the wrong neighborhood

What could I possibly have to say that adds to the conversation?
So while I'll think of Martin Niemöller ...

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

and Elie Wiesel (and especially this week since he just passed away)

Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant

... I only listen.

I'll spend then next few days reading countless articles and opinions, and maybe share a more eloquent friend's facebook status (especially if it's from a S-LC co-worker/alumni).
I'll listen to many of these songs along with Kendrick Lamar's "To Pimp a Butterfly, The Brilliance's
"Brother" and self-titled albums (especially their songs Does Your Heart Break and Mercy), and Macklemore's White Privilege II on repeat.
I listen to the first set of songs to understand, the second to cry out to God.
I listen to "White Privilege II" because I believe it articulates how I feel so well:

I want to take a stance cause we are not free
And then I thought about it, we are not we
Am I in the outside looking in, or am I in the inside looking out?
Is it my place to give my two cents ...

You speak about equality, but do you really mean it?
Are you marching for freedom, or when it's convenient?
Want people to like you, want to be accepted
That's probably why you are out here protesting
Don't think for a second you don't have incentive
Is this about you, well, then what's your intention?
What's the intention? What's the intention? 

... Damn, a lot of opinions, a lot of confusion, a lot of resentment
Some of us scared, some of us defensive
And most of us aren't even paying attention
It seems like we're more concerned with being called racist
Than we actually are with racism
I've heard that silences are action and God knows that I've been passive
What if I actually read a article, actually had a dialogue
Actually looked at myself, actually got involved?
If I'm aware of my privilege and do nothing at all, I don't know...

White supremacy isn't just a white dude in Idaho
White supremacy protects the privilege I hold
White supremacy is the soil, the foundation, the cement and the flag that flies outside of my home
White supremacy is our country's lineage, designed for us to be indifferent ...

We want to dress like, walk like, talk like, dance like, yet we just stand by
We take all we want from black culture, but will we show up for black lives?

... liberation for everyone, and injustice anywhere is still injustice everywhere.
The best thing white people can do is talk to each other.
And having those very difficult, very painful conversations with your parents, with your family members.
I think one of the critical questions for white people in this society is what are you willing to risk,
What are you willing to sacrifice to create a more just society?

The title of this blog is purposeful discomfort. These things should make us uncomfortable, but what do you do with the discomfort? Do you shrug it off, or engage in discussion with others? Do you 'like' someone's eloquent status, or write your own? Do you join in a lament and/or pray for peace and a more just society?

I'm ready to speak up - my silence is a luxury.

What are you willing to sacrifice to create a more just society?