My brother and I had hoped to go climbing with some friends
of mine while he was here. I got to
know this family through going to the Creative Center this fall as they help
run it. We had talked about going on
Sunday afternoon (January 3) or Monday afternoon. When we met up at church Sunday morning they
apologized because they couldn’t do it.
They had gotten a call from one of the Thai students who
comes to Creative Center events on Saturday. His father had committed suicide
and there were a number of tasks he was expected to complete but needed
support/help to do so. My friends ended
up spending the day with him. He had to
go to the shooting range to watch the CCTV recording of his father’s
suicide. He had to see the site it
happened. He had to identify his father’s body at the morgue.
I was heartbroken for my Thai friend. His father wasn’t the
best dad and he had really struggled in his relationship with his dad. Since
becoming a Christian, it’s been something he’s prayed a lot about and there
were maybe some small signs of hope as we prayed a couple times in December for
him and his dad.
Now, this Thai friend of mine is the only Christian in his
family – his family is Buddhist and expected him to show proper honor and
respect for his father. Basically this
meant that his family expected him to participate in the various funeral rites
as a Buddhist monk. (It is fairly common for males to dawn the saffron robes
for a time, either so they receive an education, ‘escape’ poverty, make extra
merit for a little while, participate in special events, etc.) As a Christian
he could not justify participating in the funeral in this way.
This was the first time he had to defend his new faith in
front of his whole family. Some of them didn’t take it so well and struggled to
understand why he wouldn’t show this kind of honor or respect to his
father. But as the days wore on and both
Thai and foreign Christians showed up to support our friend, I strongly believe
hearts were softened.
I myself only went to two days as my family was still in
town the first few days.
In the days leading up to the cremation, family and friends
gather at a wat (temple) in the evening to show their respects as monks chant
and maybe moral teachings are recited. I
was told the monks chant in an old religious Thai language that few people
actually understand. As a result, it is
not unusual for people to be milling around or talking softly while the monks
chant.
This was the case the night I went. Monks were chanting, a guy recited some
wisdoms, but those present weren’t always fully engaged in what was happening.
The following afternoon I attended the cremation procession
and ceremony. The monks led the coffin
and then us a few blocks away to the crematorium. We sat in a sala (an open pavilion) while
final chants were recited and final respects given. Family members (and maybe close friends)
placed saffron robes in front of the coffin, which the monks received as if
given by the deceased (another way to make merit). Just before the coffin was moved to the
crematorium building, we were each given a fake flower to present in front of
the coffin. These were then taken and put in the furnace.
The coffin was moved from in front of the sala to in front of the crematorium. The flowers decorating the cart and coffin were placed around the incinerator and on the steps leading up to it. Soon the coffin was removed from the cart, carried up the steps, and set in front of the incinerator. The family gathered around the coffin as the lid was removed and final respects paid. Finally the coffin was slid into the incinerator, a door closed, and the fire started. Most of the family left at this point. The rest hung around for a few minutes before making their way back to their cars.
I was thankful for the experience, but heartbroken over the
circumstance. All the Buddhist pageantry
and merit making for nothing. Buddhist
funerals are not sad affairs as death is seen as part of the never ending cycle
of life until nirvana. But the reality
of the situation was written on my friend’s face. He made a stand for the Truth while also
trying to honor his father and family. I’m
glad I was able to support his stance by attending. I truly believe God was at work during the
week as I heard a few stories of different conversations had between the Christians
and Buddhists. Our presence was noticed and I believe seeds were planted.
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